In the same act, we must judge ourselves honestly, but positively justify others. Even Rabbi Shimon Bar Yochai, had to learn to tolerate imperfection and see the good in the world. We have to learn how to serve Hashem in the opposite way that is comfortable for us. The faculty of remembering and forgetting can be turned on or off at will. We must remember the good that people did for us, but forget the bad that they did to us.